Jaws
by Keiichi Clean
Summary: This was originally written FOR me, but I wanted to post it :P. This has characters from FF9 too, but i didn't know where to put it


Zell wanted to go fishing for a hot-dog in the big, deep, blue sea. When he put out his reel something caught. He pulled in the line! It was a big, stinky shoe! He wondered, Are there any hot-dogs inside?

Seifer laughed at Zell, who had put his face in the shoe! Squall grabbed the shoe away from Zell and put his own face inside it. He passed out from the stink of somebody's sweaty foot and the mix of old sea water. Seifer dumped the shoe out on Irvine's head. Out came: half a watch, a coke can, a pot, a pirate's hook, a 1932 calender, a tire, a dead fish (that had turned black from the grill that was also in it), the letter R and an arm.

Rinoa screamed. "That's so, so gross!" Suddenly, Laguna came up from the other side of the boat.

"Hey! I was wondering where that arm went!"

"That's soooooo nasty!" Selphie squealed (then Quistis agreed.)

Suddenly, the corny music that usually plays during Zell's favorite horror movie started, the Jaw's theme!

"OH! A dolphin!!" Said Irvine. Zell and Irvine and Squall (who had come back) and Laguna and Seifer stared in awe at the huge dolphin while the Jaw's theme got louder!

(to the authors)"Do ya think you can keep your music down? We are watching nature at her best!" Zell griped.

Rinoa&Quistis: Sorry, chicken punk. This is our story, and this is the theme music! Live with it!

"Oh look!!! The dolphin's JUMPING!!!!" Laguna shouted, while Quistis, Selphie, and Rinoa screamed and ran all over the boat.

"It's not a dolphin, it's a killer whale!!!" said Irvine.

"NO IT'S NOT!! IT'S A HOT-DOG!!!!!" Zell yelled excitedly. Just as Zell was ready to jump in for the HOT-DOG, Jaws jumped over the boat, hearing the word hot-dog, he assumed Zell was talking about well...Zell. He grabbed Zell the hot-dog by his spiky hair, and the hair was so solid with gel that not even Jaw's teeth could break through!! He swallowed Zell with one whole gulp.

Rinoa&Quistis: Sorry Zell! But, you are stupid! We didn't mean to do it!

Zell: Urgh....In every fanfiction, I always DIE!! WHY ME!?

Rinoa&Quistis: ..........Get over yourself, Zell. Anyways. Back to our story of heartbreak and divine terror!

"SOMEBODY HELP US!!!" Rinoa, Quistis, and Selphie screamed.

"I KNOW!! I'LL SAVE YOU ZELL! I WILL TIE A ROPE TO MY FEET AND JUMP INTO JAWS' MOUTH TO SAVE YOU!"

Laguna hollered excitedly, "I AM SUCH A GENIUS!!" And with that, Laguna used the anchor to tie his feet. And jumped straight into Jaws' mouth!!

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Kuja appeared!!! He began to recite a poem to save Zell!!

"Zell, your name is like lithium

I have for you a hot-dog!" Kuja put a hot-dog on a stick and Zell ran out of Jaws' mouth yelling about his precious hot-dog and ate it in one big gulp!! But then, a greater fear than Jaws arose from the deep!! (bumbumbummmmmmmmmmmmm) Steiner!!!!!! With his armor even rustier before from the sea water! The sight of Steiner made the girls pass out. Poor girls. Squall, who was really in love with Steiner's rusty armor jumped into the blinding deep to swim towards him! Jaws quickly grabbed Squall and swallowed him whole, just as he had swallowed Zell! Zell had returned inside the shark after he got his hot-dog, and Laguna had been swallowed, as had the anchor and rope. Irvine was sitting on the top of the mast crying because all his friends were dead and he wanted his mommy! Steiner got annoyed by Irvine's crying and quickly swallowed him, as if his mind were also being controlled by Jaws!!

Jaws ate Steiner next because he was a plump morsel. Steiner's last words were "Bah! Humbug!" However, the fungus growing on Steiner's armor nearly killed Jaws! But Jaws stomach acid destroyed it first! Seifer laughed maliciously because his evil plan had worked! He had asked Jaws to come kill all the tasty munchies. Unfortunately, Seifer must have been the tastiest of munchies, for he was eaten and all that was left of him was one little hair. Out of nowhere, Dart appeared.

"Hi-ya, ladies! Looka this baby I found! This beautiful helicopter I found inside a hot-air balloon!! Though it doesn't quiet work! I think it's because it looks like a bug!" Dart farted and made the girls pass out again, and Jaws grabbed the end of the helicopter and pulled it into his mouth!!!! Dart farted again and made Jaws blow up!!

JAWS WAS FINALLY DEAD!! WITH NO MORE CHILDREN!!! THE END OF JAWS' GENERATION HAD COME!! AND IT WAS ALL THANKS TO DART!! SO, DART GOT TO CHOSE THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS TO MARRY!! HE CHOSE KEIICHI CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!

MWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHHHhEEHeh o.O


End file.
